Why the Amish cannot be trusted.

Those Amish...I tell ya...they're a pretty shady crew as far as I'm concerned. Did you know that there were almost a quarter of a million Amish people in North America in 2010? There numbers have been growing for decades, and this puts them at an all time high. Is anyone else concerned about this?

Let's look at the facts for a moment. Amish people have consciously chosen to embrace a lifestyle that shuns modern technology, is not subject to pay taxes, limits the education of their young people to graduation of Grade 8 (no high school, no college), treats women as second class citizens, and proliferate large families during periods of global food shortages and recession. On the other hand, their highest values are family and community. Ok, I can live with that part.

What really troubles me is the possibility that the Amish are planning world domination right under our noses and no one is batting an eye. Let me lay it out for you...

First off, have you ever visited the Lancaster, Pennsylvania? This area of North America is a hotbed for Amish activity. As a keystone of the Pennsylvania tourism product, you can visit all sorts of Amish communities, farms, shops, etc. and purchase a wide range of Amish made goods. The Amish are hiding in plain site! Creating an image of themselves as a peaceful people, yet a novelty nonetheless. This makes you take your guard down. Just as no one believes that happy little mouse in Orlando will one day raise an army and attack our cities, no one believes those peaceful farmers selling the nice wood furniture will ever turn out to be hiding nuclear reactors in all those silos!

Secondly, what are they doing with all the profits from furniture sales? As mentioned, the Amish are not subject to most taxes, they grow most of their own food and build everything else they need. So where is this huge stockpile of cash hidden and for what purpose. The optimist in me will suggest that maybe they are hoarding it to eventually pay off the huge debt the US owes China just prior to China invading. However, the realist in me says that will just begin their ascension as overlords of North America.

The Amish cannot be trusted because you never know when they might turn on you. Despite placing family and community first and foremost in their culture, social groups have been known to split over the most trivial of differences such as the width of a hat brim or the colour of a horsedrawn carriage. Sounds pretty fickle to me! Fickle: Quick to change one's opinion or allegiance; insincere; not loyal or reliable. If there was a reason not to trust the Amish, there it is.

Here's another question for you...If you had to choose any time period throughout history to build entire culture around and blindly follow without question for the rest of your days, why choose a mid-1800 agrarian one? Why not something more exciting, like gladiators, medieval times or even pirates? Can you picture an Amish Pirate?